Disturbing Roleplaying V: The Joy of Madness

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SothThe69th	Re: Boom	#21	[-]
Posts: 2172 (02/03/02 18:15:51) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Using a spell to multiply his STR by any number rolled on a d4, then promptly using his munchkin ability "cheat" to modify it to a negative, Soth rolls -4. Multiplying his STR of -30 to positive 120. Using his massive STR, he crushes a several tons of steel into a small ball, and then drops it on Rebecca's foot Crushingly. --- "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo VP, 1989 Soth69 Winner of the coveted 2000 & 2001 Sig Awards
Sephiroth Yagyu	Ka-pow!	#22	[-]
Posts: 1413 (02/03/02 20:20:36) Psychotic Scot More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Sephiroth appears, holding a 2x4. Then he righteously smacks Soth with it repeatedly. Soth dies from the poisoned splinters. Turning, Sephiroth whips out his ten foot long katana and slashes Drakus's face off, and then watches his brain slide out. Drakus's brain then sprouts legs, and starts kicking Seph. Annoyed, Seph stomps it into brain goo. He then packages the goo, and sells it to Shadow Templar, who seems to enjoy that kind of food. But Drakus's poisoned mind kills Templar. Whirling around, Sephiroth performs his Aire Tam Stomp Ultimate technique on Gnarsh, who takes 9999x10^1000 damage, which pounds him into a pile of Gnarsh crud resting at the bottom of a huge crater. Then, he impales Rebecca with his katana reach weapon, and flings her into the horizon where she lands on the Tarrasque, and gets ripped apart. Wiping his brow, Seph drinks some Gatorade, then realizes he missed Azyr. So, he throws the empty gatorade bottle at Azyr, and the bottle bounces off, doubling the force, and creating a greater impulse, ripping Azyr's head off. Then, Sephiroth sits on a rock, and throws himself a congratulatory puppet show. ...And so the Paladins were robbed of their money, pants, and dignity, proving once again that good is dumb.
magfrump	Re: Ka-pow!	#23	[-]
Posts: 462 (02/03/02 22:35:01) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	mag's in-storage form smiles, and falls over onto sephiroth, crushing him. he then comes out of storage, and dances a victory dance because all of the other looneys are dead. then he notices the tarrasque. being ripped apart isn't half as bad as you would have thought. in his next life, mag becomes an enterprising businessman, and realizes that in his last life he owned an underground gambling assosiation, so he goes to reclaim it and pick up his life insurance. Doncha just love insurance fraud? Am I giving away the plot again?
SothThe69th	Re: Ka-pow!	#24	[-]
Posts: 2172 (02/04/02 01:19:26) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Quickly recovering, (he is undead, with regeneration, after all.) Soth proceeds to posess the 'Punch and Judy' puppets Seph was using, and pummel him with them prodigiously. --- "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo VP, 1989 Soth69 Winner of the coveted 2000 & 2001 Sig Awards
Azyr	Re: Ka-pow!	#25	[-]
Posts: 193 (02/04/02 12:38:12) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	A big Python-esque foot comes down and squashes all the loonies. Azyr's corpse laugh's crazily. "That's what you get for using bold type!" he giggles, then realises he's dead, no un- about it, and shouldn't be moving (apart from the occasional muscle spasm), and collapses, inertly. "Now the question you're probably asking yourself is "did he make two wishes or three?" and I have to admit that in the chaos and confusion I kinda lost track myself. But bearing in mind this is a Ring of Wishes, the most powerful artifact in the world, and could blow your head clean off, the question you're really asking yourself is; "Do I feel lucky?" Well? Do ya, punk?'Hari Cal'ahan, Mage Police.
Sephiroth Yagyu	Re: Ka-pow!	#26	[-]
Posts: 1413 (02/04/02 13:16:16) Psychotic Scot More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Fortuneatly, Sephiroth had casted Protection Against Foot on himself, and was unaffected. He then uses his +5 Lead Pipe of Everything Bane, and destroys Soth with it. "Friggin' Zombie." But, everyone else is dead, so Seph cracks open a Coke, pulls out a lawn chair, and rests up. ...And so the Paladins were robbed of their money, pants, and dignity, proving once again that good is dumb.
SothThe69th	Dodge.	#27	[-]
Posts: 2172 (02/04/02 13:26:13) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Soth dodges, conspiratorially. He then offers a alliance to Seph, not just any old alliance, but a LOONY alliance, one of which the world has never seen before! He emphasizes his point with a "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!"
Azyr	Ready action.	#28	[-]
Posts: 193 (02/04/02 13:39:55) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Fortunately, Azyr's corpse had readied an action against just this eventuality, and cast Azyr's Uncontrollable Hideous Silence on Soth. Unable to laugh in maniacial fashion, the loony explodes from the pressure, Gratuitously.
Caernoga	Readied Ready action.	#29	[-]
Posts: 227 (02/04/02 15:50:40) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	But just as Azyr tries to cast his spell, his lips are sown together by Caernoga who had readied an action against Azyr's readied action. And yes, Caernoga has the Needle of Instant Sowing, which makes anything less than 256 stitches a partial action. Caernoga then sneaks away, making no noise whatsoever... ----- It is worth noticing that there are 3 kinds of people in the world, those who can count and those who cant.
Sephiroth Yagyu	Re: Readied Ready action.	#30	[-]
Posts: 1413 (02/04/02 16:18:19) Psychotic Scot More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	But, alas, Caernoga speaks of Seed Sowing, and Azyr casts the spell uninterrupted Soth Dies. Caernoga attempts to run away, but Seph is blocking his exit, armed with a .44 Desert Eagle. He shoots Caernoga twice, and he dies slowly...painfully. Then Seph shoots Azyr, and goes back to relaxing and reading comic books. ...And so the Paladins were robbed of their money, pants, and dignity, proving once again that good is dumb.
magfrump	Re: Readied Ready action.	#31	[-]
Posts: 462 (02/04/02 17:59:10) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	mag wonders whether the foot missed him, or hit him and he had the exact same dream as his life. He then continues to make millions of dollars from minors gambling illegally, and goes upstairs the the bouncer. and you thought you weren't going to see her again, didn't you? Never leave the bouncer out of you calculations. sorry, I've forgotten what I was thinking about.
Rebecca	hahahahahahahahaha!!!	#32	[-]
Posts: 4130 (02/04/02 20:05:53) Dungeon Mistress More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	The pieces of Rebecca's dead body seem to vibrate and come alive, bouncing around wildly, smacking the other looneys in various places. Suddenly, all the pieces sprout arms and legs, until hundreds of little Rebeccas are running around everywhere! "AAHH!!" yells Mag, as one of the Rebeccas smacks him across the face. "You're a looney, but can't you at least make sense when you post??" she yells. The other Rebeccas run and find the other looneys, grabbing them in headlocks and giving them noogies. "Now we can take over the world!" one of the Rebeccas yell. "Sweet!" the others yell in unison. "But first, lets go kick the @$$ of all the people who made fun of us in high school!" "Yeah!" The looneys suddenly stop what their doing to watch the army of Rebeccas run by, apparently intent on kicking @$$ and taking over the world. ----------- Guffaw-- A loud or boisterous burst of laughter.
SothThe69th	Re: hahahahahahahahaha!!!	#33	[-]
Posts: 2172 (02/05/02 01:39:08) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Soth returns to life, merely because of bemusement on the part of the mini-Rebecca's, and because he doesn't want them messing around with his dead body. He then proceeds to open up a 'Can of Whup Ass', and force Azyr to drink the disgusting brew. He then uses a rod of ressurection to bring Azyr back and kill him monotonously. --- "Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." - Kristian Wilson, Nintendo VP, 1989 Soth69 Winner of the coveted 2000 & 2001 Sig Awards
Azyr	Re: hahahahahahahahaha!!!	#34	[-]
Posts: 193 (02/05/02 11:43:32) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Azyr, however, quite enjoys this, and gets to know most of the Death Deities on a first-name basis. "Dead...Alive... Dead...Alive... Dead...Alive... Dead...Alive... Dead...Alive... uh... oh, here we go... Dead...Alive...Dead...Alive... Dead...Alive... Dead...Alive..." And so it goes on, until Hades, sick of Azyr's ugly mug, smites Soth and takes his Rod away... "Now the question you're probably asking yourself is "did he make two wishes or three?" and I have to admit that in the chaos and confusion I kinda lost track myself. But bearing in mind this is a Ring of Wishes, the most powerful artifact in the world, and could blow your head clean off, the question you're really asking yourself is; "Do I feel lucky?" Well? Do ya, punk?'Hari Cal'ahan, Mage Police.
Gnomis Kaniris	Re: hahahahahahahahaha!!!	#35	[-]
Posts: 85 (02/07/02 06:30:38) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Gnomis taps Rebecca on her shoulder. Rebecca turns her head around slowly. She faces an elf holding a "rod of sadistically turning people to bread". A sound can be heard: Plooooop Dooooonutt. Gnomis walks away with a small loaf of bread in his right hand. Back in his "inn of a greenish Caernoga silently singing a song of not setting inn´s on fire when the owner is a hostile elf" he puts the loaf into his +5 Flaming Toaster. Rebecca dies silently..... ( Nooooo, never again... will Iiiiii set it on fiiiireee... ) That is not dead which eternal lie,with strange eons death may die...
Caernoga	Inn-evitable II	#36	[-]
Posts: 227 (02/07/02 09:38:47) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	A small imp kicks Caernoga awake. For that, it gets its arms ripped off and stuffed down its throat. With a quick glance, Caernoga understands that he's dead and, for some strange reason, greenish. Tired of all this dying (and dyeing), he equips his Earplugs of Reatroactive Invincibility and Immortality, and is instantly transported in front of the "inn of a greenish Caernoga silently singing a song of not setting inns on fire when the owner is a hostile elf". Caernoga realizes how hungry he is when he smells the toast. He steps inside and finds Gnomis preparing a meal. The hideous elf spins around, draws his weapon and charges. Caernoga, taking no damage at all, just stands there, silently singing the not-setting-inns-on-fire-when-the-owner-is-a-hostile-elf-song. After a while Gnomis fatigued falls to the ground. Feeling violent,Caernoga pulls out a small hammer and starts beating Gnomis' spine to splinters. "Please, don't kill me!" the elf screams, but due to his earplugs, Caernoga hears nothing. Just to top things off he uses a giant nut cracker to squish Gnomis' skull. Since the elf now is dead and not hostile, Caernoga watches the house burn, while enjoying some delicious toast. He is only mildly annoyed by finding small chunks of leather in it. Gravely insulted by Seph's remarks, he uses his Wand of Instant Suing and summons all the lawyers in America to harass Seph for all eternity. ----- It is worth noticing that there are 3 kinds of people in the world, those who can count and those who cant.
Rebecca	Toast is the Most	#37	[-]
Posts: 4130 (02/07/02 16:25:55) Dungeon Mistress More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Upon praying to the god of toasters, Rebecca is promply given back her true form. Unfortunately for Caernoga, the toast he just swallowed is now clawing it's way out of his stomach. Rebecca pops out of Caernoga's belly like an alien and hisses loudly. Everyone present at the inn backs off in disgust. "Good Lord, Caernoga, what'd you eat???" yells one of the looneys who throws his own slice of toast across the room. ----------- Guffaw-- A loud or boisterous burst of laughter.
darkhunter42	Re: Toast is the Most	#38	[-]
Posts: 40 (02/07/02 17:29:33) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Punchs the Greek god with winged sandals, steals said sandals, flys across the room and catches tost in his mouth. "Iff thiff un offen thrdd? I shh hpffGAK" clutches his throte and falls to the ground. His skull opens, his brain crawls out and looks at him disgustadly. He (brain) then goes on to prove black is white and gets killed at the next zebra crossing. Look up there in the sky!It's a bird!It's a plane!What's a plane?I dunno.No, It's DorkOrk!AAAAAAAAAAIIiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!SPLAT!!!(This sig was inspired by a really stupid half-orc barbarian I once knew.)
Azyr	Time to take out the trash.	#39	[-]
Posts: 193 (02/08/02 12:43:59) More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	Azyr returns from the dead for the express purpose of finding the guy who quoted Douglas Adams and shaking his hand. Unfortunately, just before he arrives, a score of lawyers from the Adams estate turn up on DarkHunter's doorstep, and he is carted off for breach of copyright... ..Azyr, slightly disappointed, gets over it and enjoys his new life. "Now the question you're probably asking yourself is "did he make two wishes or three?" and I have to admit that in the chaos and confusion I kinda lost track myself. But bearing in mind this is a Ring of Wishes, the most powerful artifact in the world, and could blow your head clean off, the question you're really asking yourself is; "Do I feel lucky?" Well? Do ya, punk?'Hari Cal'ahan, Mage Police.
Sephiroth Yagyu	I'm tired.	#40	[-]
Posts: 1413 (02/08/02 16:47:09) Psychotic Scot More My Recent Posts Message Me Connection Blocking Invite Ignore User's Posts	And Sephiroth takes a nap, tired from killing everyone else in inventive and hard to escape from ways. ...And so the Paladins were robbed of their money, pants, and dignity, proving once again that good is dumb.

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Disturbing Roleplaying V: The Joy of Madness